Internet copypasta about england read aloud by an englishman.
>go to England on vacation with some friends
>we have to meet at the hotel at 9pm
>it starts to get dark out
>go to check my watch
>I forgot it
>Decide to go ask someone
>find someone to ask
>ARE YOU WIMBLY FOURS MATE!? IM CRIMBO NINAN SAX APPLE SMIBBLY DIN BIBBLY CHAP
>have no idea what he just said, ask him to repeat it
>YOU WOT M8?
>he starts to laugh maniacally
>Big Ben rings out
>everyone stops in the fucking street
>a carriage with the initials HRH rides down the street
>the fucking queen herself sticks her head out
>OI YOU GITS DID YE HEAR THAT!? IT BE 6 BONG
>driver pokes his head out
>another man leaps out of the sewer
>6 FECKING BONG?
>people start pouring out in the street
>YA WANKERS IT BE CRIMBO SIX-A-BONG-
>store clerks and chimney sweeps chanting SIX A-BONG SIX A-BONG
>we try to get away, the filth is choking me
>SIX A-BONG, SIX A-BONG, OLLY JOLLY ITS SIX-A-BONG!
>the lyrics drown everything out, can’t avoid the dancers
>BANG UP THE KNACKERS AND SMACK YER MUM-
>OLL IN THE STREETS ITS SIX A-BONG!
>fish and chips being thrown into the air en masse at this point
Ramsay would have a goreblog, with gifs from horror movies and pictures of weird medieval torture instruments. He likes to post pictures of women covered in blood and torture porn. He constantly sends Theon a lot of very disturbing anon messages. He makes the occasional text post about how much he hates and loves his father.
Fat Walda would reblog pictures of serial killers and write about how ”hot” they were and send love letters to them. She’d also love vampires. Amongst her reblogs of serial killers and edward cullen she reblogs pictures of cute cats and cupcakes. Leaving people to speculate just what kind of person she really is.
Sansa has a typical teenage princess blog, it’s primarily fashion related, pink dresses and cute multi-coloured socks. She likes to reblog pictures of puppies and kittens and adores Disney. She’s known as a friend of Margaery, but she’s no where near as popular. She sometimes get the occasional compliment and graciously accepts, attemtping to befriend the person.
Cersei is a tumblr Queen. She posts a fuckload of selfies and consistently makes sarcastic and bitchy text posts about her enemies. She periodcally reblogs pictures of male models that look suspiciously like her twin brother. She’s not very nice, doesn’t take kindly to text posts about her and messages sent to her but because she’s so bitchy and catty, people flock to her, tagging their posts with ‘CERSEI MY QUEEN’ until Margaery turns up.
Margaery is a fairly new blogger, she is witty and smart and posts pictures of her philanthropic deeds and this only helps to garner her support and respect, she’s beautiful and occasionally postes a picture of herself with a small child or a homeless man, always in designer clothing though and making sure the camera gets her good side of course. She’s always sweet to messages, even rude anon messages and she often vagueblogs about Cersei (who, not so subtly in turn passive aggressively vaugeblogs about Marg). Amongst her animal activism and help the poor posts, Margaery likes to reblog pictures of nature and flowers. She occasionally reblogs other people’s selfies just so she can sweetly compliment them. Everyone loves her. Cersei thinks she’s a fake bitch.
Joffrey used to be pretty popular on tumblr, people would follow him for his hilariously angry text posts, they would sarcastically comment how great he was. This prompted him to start taking selfies of himself holding guns for attention. His blog was full of misogynistic dudebro jokes. When he realised people were taking the piss out of him, he went on a tumblr vengeance spree, spamming hundreds of members with death threats and petulant insults. He was permanently banned from the website for being an insane little shit. No body has heard of him since.
Daenerys posts loads of fantasy artwork, particularly dragons and she occasionally draws her own. Her father was famous, but she doesn’t disclose what for. Whenever she recieves insulting messages (usually from angry users who are tired of her patronising comments about race and feminism) she resorts to CAPLOCKS: DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???!?!!?
Dany follows much of the social justice scene on tumblr, she makes a habit of telling people to check their privileges.
Jon Snow runs a black and white blog. He ocassionally posts a Joy Division or Smiths song. He reblogs a lot of pictures of wolves and snowy landscapes. The only colour pictures he posts are of red headed models. He rarely posts model pictures though, and when he does, he often feels guilty and deletes the post. Sometimes he makes vague, melancholic one sentence text posts that end in ellipsis.
Theon used to reblog a lot of pictures of naked women and speedboats, he’d make a lot of misogynistic text posts which in the end garnered him a lot of ”haters” he would repeatedly antagonise other users and make jokes about them. But then, out of the blue one day he made a series of incoherent, disturbing text posts. Now all theon posts are of self harm and depression. His blog is now black and white with melancholy music playing in the background. He no longer responds to anon hate, but DOES post a series of disturbing anonymous messages sent from an unknown source, he doen’t reply to them, but he posts them on his blog, however humilating and degrading they are. He no longer has as many haters and a lot of people who once disliked him now take pity on this strange, isolated man. He reblogs a lot of pictures from the horror game Amnesia.
Bran has an otherkin blog, he posts pictures of his spirit animals, in particular wolves. He posts a lot of pictures of nature and different landscapes. He loves the woods and snow. He never, ever makes text posts though and is a very mysterious user. He is set on remaining in an anonymous location and doesn’t respond to messages or asks. He occasionally posts pictures of girls (who look suspiciously like Meera) posing artistically and tastefully in nature.
Arya would repeatedly make text posts listing all the people she hates. She would take a lot of selfies of herself holding her antique samurai swords. She reblogs a lot of martial arts pictures but occasionally reblogs pictures of mean-looking cats and wolves hunting. Constantly changes her username.
Petyr Baelish is not an active user. Instead, he has a decoy blog with StatCounter installed onto it (for those unaware: StatCounter is a code you put into your layout HTML and it tracks the people who visit your page— it gives you everything from IP, general location, browser, screen resolution, etc… ). He stalks all the pretty tumblr girls and sends them anonymous messages, linking them to this decoy blog, claiming that the blog has been stealing their photos. He then checks the results after a few hours and thus has all of their information.
He is obsessed with Sansa’s blog, and though he doesn’t message her, he keeps an eye on her daily updates. She hasn’t taken much notice of the ”spam blog” that has followed her, unaware she is the only person that he follows.
YEAH YOU GO GIRL
why is it called menu why cant cant it be called womenu huh i hate men >:/
This last saturday, me and a female friend of mine were walking to the train after a night at the bar. While we were walking we were approached by this weird guy on a bicycle. He followed us to the train station and stood with us while we waited. He proceeded to tell my friend that she has…
yeh it suks that this is made 2 look rly normal and aceptable </3